lost in translation.

sometimes when i have conversations with my mother in chinese i realize that a large percentage of what i am saying is actually just english peppered with bits of chinese words.

something as simple as "she called today to let us know about dinner at the restaurant" will sound something like: "that lady, she called [in chinese] umm to tell us [in english] we're going to have dinner, [in english] with her, at that...place [in chinese] ".

i mean, i know how to say that, but when i'm on the spot and trying to say a lot at once, my brain can't think that quickly in chinese. sometimes i look at my mom and she kind of has this confused look on her face like she is trying to put the random jumbled stream-of-consciousness coming out of my mouth into some sort of coherent statement.

sigh. someday i will wake up and not know a single word of chinese, even after living in the san gabriel valley all these years. the shame!!